You forgot the bacon smelling bacon tuxedo :Ohttp://www.mcphee.com/shop/pages/Bacon-Tuxedo.html
holy shit it is amazing!!!!
back in the summer of 2000 i was the team manager for santa cruz skateboards. we were on tour for two months covering 17,000+ miles of american roadways. this dude flew out to join us for a week when we were in the midwest. as soon as we picked him up from the airport, he confessed that he would remain on a beer and bacon diet for the entire week. i knew this guy better some of the other guys in the van...and i knew that he was fucking serious. and so it went...lunch that day: 6 slices of bacon and two beers. dinner: 8 slices of bacon and five beers. he stayed the course for two more full days and on the forth day modified it a bit to order all kinds of shit, but he had to add bacon and still only drink beer. and so, for lunch, fettucini alfredo with four slices of bacon and two beers. on the fifth day we skated all day. went out to bars in kansas city that night. said dude got wasted and proceeded to take a nap. back in the hotel i kindly instructed the younger guys on the team that this was their opportunity to chief someone for the first time and proceeded to hand three of them each a sharpie. the first guy drew a line across mr. beer and bacon's forehead. it took a few seconds for him to react. but it stirred him. his hand reached up to his forehead and wiped over the area where he had been drawn on. the mark wiped clean off?! this was permanent marker!! homeboy had so much grease oozing out his pours from his bacon and beer diet that even after a ten second delay, he could wipe permanent ink off his skin as if he were brushing away a fly. true story. mmm mmm bacon.
but how can something so wrong feel sooo right..?:)